Ep: 41 Values vs things you value

Today I'm adding some nuance to the conversation around values.

Often on 'find your values' lists and exercises I see things listed that aren't really values, but more spaces where you act into your values - they are things you value.

Values are verbs - they aren't simply things that are important to you they are ways of showing up that are important to you. They talk to the way you want to act in the world and the kind of world you want to build.

So, if your values aren't actionable then how can you show up in them?

Let's dive in.

Links, resources & mentions

Bridging the gap: how to build a business with the same values you practice by - Free webinar

Ep 39 Dietitian Values podcast with James-Olivia Chu Hillman

Episode transcript:

Laura Jean 0:14

Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the dietician values podcast. Today I want to add a little bit of nuance to the conversation around values. And I want to talk to you a little bit about something that I possibly teach a bit differently or a way that I hold values a little bit differently than other information or other teachings that I've seen out there. So I'm a bit of a picky pants when it comes to words, when it comes to getting right down in words and dissecting things. And so I've done a lot of thinking about values, a lot of thinking about the differentiation between our values and the things that we value. And so I want to talk a little bit about that today and to share my thoughts. Now, I'm not saying that this is the context you have to hold around values and of course, for yourself it's around finding a fit and way of working with values that works for you. But I wanted to offer this up in case it's something that resonates or it's something that's helpful and supportive when you are thinking about your values.

So I hold that values are verbs, things that we act into and ways that we show up and I've kind of reworked own definition of values or rebut your definition of values that encapsulate how I think of invoice value. So the dictionary definition of values, principles or standards of behaviour, and I think that that is a sort of sound starting point. What I feel with that definition, though, is that there is a little bit of judgement, and maybe it's just me but I feel like the word principles and moral standards and standards, not moral standards. There is kind of like a bit of a bit of it's something that around sort of morality for me those words. And so how I can think about values are the characteristics that underlie our attempts to get our needs met, because most human actions are attempts at our needs met, if that feels a bit Wofully for you, or we would hold back not as kind of concrete and I would say you could use characteristics that underlie our actions. Our values are kind of like the how the way we act into things or interfaces. Now sometimes values exercises if you've ever done one, if you've ever gotten curious about values, there'll be a lot of nouns in there. Now, some words can be used as verbs, and I really do think the values of it. And so I think if you're thinking about values or looking at those list of words, the words that are going to be more helpful as far as giving you a competent guide to acting to our words that can be used as verbs. And so that is how I think they'll use their characteristics, their ways we act the things we can show up as their actions. They can describe our actions, feelings, thoughts, our state, the things we can embody, whereas things that we value tend to be more nouns. Generally the kind of like places, situations, people, it's kind of like the spaces where you show up your values, they are things that are important to you, you value them, but they aren't your values as far as who you are as like how you show up as a human in your work or in your in your family like so some of the things that sometimes I say on lists of values are things that I consider things that we can value so for example, family, often I'll see that one of these values, but I don't think family or friends, our values, they are things that we value, the things that are important to us, but they're not principles of behaviour, or standards of behaviour. They're not characteristics, we can't act into family. So that is a little different today. I think sometimes the other one I'll often see is health and as health professional, it was one that I often would be you know, look, I think that one of my values, I think, what is what we want to think about, like if you're thinking, well, these are really important, there are my values. This is what I really encourage you to think about to get to the root of the actual kind of action, the value and the values that you hold in these spaces to think about how do you want to show up for your family? How do you want to show up for your health? What is it like how do you want to what are the actions or the or the feelings or thoughts you want to embody when it comes to taking action for your health. And I think that things like family health, success home, these are all things I see on values. These are actually values about things that we can value. And what is why I think this is important to kind of put a bit of nuance around or to really differentiate these because if we're thinking the way that I find values super helpful, are a guide to how we act our guide how we show up there are things that we can look for in our actions and if you look in your actions or your values, you won't necessarily find fairly in your actions, but you'll see how you act towards your family. You'll see how you act when you show up in your family spaces or when you do things too. I'm going to use some values based way to care for your family to show respect for your family to to prioritise your family. So like so we can be doing these kinds of actions toward our family, but I would I would put forward that your family your health, your success, your home, that they aren't values, they're things you value. So I kinda mentioned it briefly initially, but some ways or some little kind of ways you can think about it or is to run it through a bit of a filter. So if you're thinking of is this a value, or is it something that value so isn't actually a verb or is it a noun? That's a good first step and can if he's a noun because sometimes some values aren't up put forward as nouns but can you create an action verb around or is there like a verb tenses? That word? He can you show up as that thing? So if we think of some some values of words that often describe value, so we can do things like compassion, so can you show up as compassion you can be compassionate Yes, you can show up as being compassionate respect, you can be respectful, you can show up with that in that action. Not all of us lenders to that. So things like connection, that's one of my values. So can you show up as connection? No, but I can show up in a way that fosters connection I can show up in I can show up connected. The other ways you can kind of other filters if it doesn't always kind of resonate with that. Can I show up as this or can I act this out is can I embody this,

can this describe my actions, feelings, thoughts or state and so if it can, then they are what I would probably think are more likely going to be values. On the other side we have the things we value so some little filters, is it something that you're showing up for so do you show up for your health show up for your workshop for your family, show up for your success or to work towards your success? Show up for your you know, to create a XYZ at home so sometimes it's it's the setting, it's the place where we where we show up in value? So is it something you're showing up for? Or is it a setting a group of people a space or a place where you enact or you act out your values? Is it something you're working towards, like a goal so sometimes things that are important to you? So let's say success, for example, is something that's important to you. It's something you're working towards. It's not a value as far as like one of one of our like, it's unlikely to be able to be embodied as a value rather, it's something that you might value and because really, you know, I mean, you could argue about being successful it could be like acting into success, but I would probably put it over on more like something you value. So it's like a setting a space, a place something you work towards, something that you show up for versus Are you showing up as this thing can you embody this thing? does it describe your actions, thoughts, feelings, or state and it's probably other filters you could use. These are just some that I use, which is often enough to kind of figure out whether something is a value or something that you value. So it's getting a bit nitpicky around with I think it's important because the when we're using our values, particularly to guide our practice as health practitioners or to guide our business, which is obviously the work that I do, we want those values to be actionable to be verbs to be something that you can act into something you can aspire to as well, rather than simply be the things that we hold that are important, because it talks more about gives us more of a direction to go with it gives you more of that roadmap gives you more of that compass is always these journey like analogies, metaphors for comfort values, but But it helps you to know well, how do I want to act, how to win a shop, who's the person I want to be? What are the characteristics that I want to show up in when I'm getting my needs met? What is important to me around that, and that is just a little distinction and I think it's really helpful to get clear on on that because when we pick words that we can't act into every contract has been even they are simply words, because they're let's say, you value your family, right? And let's say for instance, if you had that on your list of values, like what does that mean? What actions does that does that involve? And likely what you're going to do is you're going to think about, well, how do I want to show up to my family and die under your values? Because you're not going like your whole family as if we were to say that family is like something you can have as a value, then what does that mean? It doesn't really give you any kind of guide or any kind of information about how you want to show up who you want to be how you want to take action. So values like I said, they're more likely verbs are verbs characteristics, and things that you value other spaces where you often act out your values. They definitely priorities. But even if we come back to that dictionary definition of values, which are principles and standards of behaviour versus things versus something that is of value, like your family, something that is important to you, that is a priority. And there is a little bit of nuance there. But I think being a little bit peculiar and adding some nuance around that is really helpful. So I encourage you to think about your values. Are they actionable? And are they things that you can work on and often we can choose words and keep them in the kind of inactive a noun form, so like compassion to give an example and it is worth taking that further and being an either turning it into that active form of compassionate being compassionate or wrapping some words around it and creating action statements. And this is the work that I generally do with them when I work with some humans around getting clear on their values is to start with your values start with these words, but actually wrap words around them that give you action statements of actually how you want to show up. So to give you an example, if I pull up, if I can talk about some one or two of my values, just to give you an example of how this can work in action. And actually what I want to do in a couple of weeks is actually go through the process that I run through so I run Instagram, somebody reached out you know who you are if you're listening along in Cydia and and asked if it's something that I would be open to talking about on podcast is actually how do we get clear how do we find our values? And so I'm going to work through a bit of a series and I'll give you a heads up when that's coming over here on the podcast. And so we'll go through it a bit more.

So I'll talk about this in a little bit more but I just wanted to talk about it because I think it demonstrates how values and the things we value can be a little bit different. So one of my values, statements make values. So I have one of my key values is connection. Now connection by itself isn't really going to talk about what it looks like for me to act into that value because connection. Connection could be like, you know, could be describing a whole lot of things. And so wrapping some words around and creating actually values based action segments is a really important and connection actually comes up in a couple of mine, but I'll share one so one of my values action statements is cultivating spaces of care connection and collaboration. And this speaks to how I like to show up in spaces of you know in those things when I'm showing up for things that I value. So if I think about things like family, so cultivating spaces of care connection and collaboration and that a kind of like the vibe, the values that I want to bring to spaces where I show up so in my family, in my relationships, that is what I want it to be based on. So relationships aren't my value aren't one of my values, they are something I value and so I show up in my relationships with this value of cultivating spaces of care connection and collaboration. So that is where we can see like that kind of difference. Another sort of one of my values is conservation and wise use of resources for myself, my community and the environment as a whole. And so you'll see here things that I value. So I value myself, I value my community and I value the environment. And I'm talking about how I want to show up for that in my values. And so it's a it's thinking about resources and it's thinking about conservation and wise use, being sustainable with that, you know, being sustainable with my own energy, being sustainable with resources in my in the environment, and so they're really important things. And so the environment is not a value. It is something I value, what my value around it is around sustainability, conservation, and taking care of and stewarding in how I want to show up in that space is this conservation and wise use of resources. And somebody else might have the environment you might have the environment as something that is of value to you, but how you show up the values that you want to show up in for the environment could be really different. You might want to be advocating for change you might want to be you know doing like really different kinds of work in regards to the environment. And it still might be something that you value, but how we are going to show up in those spaces can look really different. The other benefit of wrapping words around your values and creating values based action statements, and I'm going to talk a little bit about values as verbs again in another couple of weeks. Because I think that's a really important piece is that you might add by creating these statements it actually talks about what we mean by these words because some words and different people are talking about this on the podcast episode with James Olivia to Hillman, inquisitive human over on Instagram and I'll link to that one in the show notes and we talked about how how you can hold values, the same words but they may actually how we act into them can be very different and that's why I think these action statements are really important as well. So that is what I wanted to talk about today the distinction between values and things we value I'm going to get a bit nitpicky and add some nuance in there and share it with you. And speaking of values, I'm sorry if I ramble. I hope that that is helpful if you've got any comments, questions and concerns if you've got a different opinion on this or a different way that you hold these. I would love to hear from you because I feel like adding, you know, discussing these things being in conversation to get around these kinds of ideas and concepts. It helps me to clarify my understanding to get to wrap with more around what I'm thinking. And so I always love, love people's people sharing their thoughts, comments and contradictions. And if you have something different around this, I would love to hear it so please feel free to reach out.

You can send me an email Laura at dietician values.com or you can follow me on Instagram at dietitian values and you can drop a comment under the podcast post or you can send me a DM DMS wise. And now before we wrap up the episode for today, I do want to point out that I'm actually hosting a free webinar. So this episode is going to drop on Thursday the 10th of February and I'm gonna be hosting a free webinar. So if you're listening to this before Thursday, the 17th of January, February, Australian Eastern Standard Time too. So that would be that would be the 16th if you're in the US or other parts of the world. We're gonna be running a free webinar bridging the gap, bringing the values of practice by into your business. And if that's something that you are interested in, or if you've been following along here and you'd like to go deeper with me around some of these, I'm gonna be running that webinar. It's a free webinar 90 minute webinar and the link to sign up I'll drop it in the show notes. You can also find it on my Instagram bio links in bio so go check that out. If you are interested in going a little deeper. Can you help me on webinar and I'm going to show you three steps to go from to bring the value to practice by into your business and into how you do things. So check that out. And I'd love to ask a favour if you know anyone else who you think would be really interested in it wasn't even if it's not for you, please feel free to share it, you know, sharing our work, you know, I mean if you've got your business or you work as a professional, you know word of mouth is one of the ways things spread. One of the ways people people hear about things and so I value you and the time that you're sharing with me and I would love to ask that a review if you if it's available to you, if not, no pressure. Great. Well, I would love to hear from you about tips that like I said in check out webinar if it resonates for you please do sign up and like I said if you feel called to fill in line two, please feel free to share it. And we will chat again soon. Until then. Bye for now.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai